Dear
,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining the Convent. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your closet and I saw you sit on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your old New Kids on the Block blanket to you but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and I'm scratching my butt as you read this. Go milk a cow,